When Seeking Help For Relationship Problems, Who Should You Talk To?

Conflicts arise in every relationship, how you handle the situation matter most. Before we got on the point of “who to consult”, let’s talk about “how to avoid relationship problems”

Avoiding problems in the relationship isn’t big deal, you need to take care of some set of rule to restrain yourself in converting the small disagreement into conflict.

Avoid yelling:

Yelling at each other makes the situation worst, whenever there is a disagreement between both you need to stay calm and avoid getting into argument.

seeking help

Admit your mistake:

Admit your mistake if you are responsible for the fight, admitting can help you save your relationship.


communication is the biggest tool that you can use to avoid conflicts in a relationship, I have seen many couples who lack communication in the relationship which ultimately leads to disputes. good communication will help you both stay on the same page.

Define a set of boundaries:

Every relationship need to have boundaries, every person has their own limit of tolerance and it’s better to recognize those limits.

Recognition of limits will help you stopping you to cross your boundary.

Some time compromise:

Sometimes it’s better to put your ego in your pant and compromise with the situation, I have seen many relations getting ruined because of ego problems.

seeking help

People you should talk to when you can’t resolve the problem on your own.

So if you are unable to resolve your relationship problem on your own and your relationship has reached to the point where it needs some external help then there are few people you should have a talk with.

Consult friends:

Sometimes you expect a lot from your partner and friends plays a important role as a mediator in the conflict.

Consult family members:

No one knows you better than your family, they have been watching your habits since you were a kid and they know how a problem can be resolved. Additionally, elderly members of the family have more experience about the relationship and they are eligible enough to give you the right advice.  

Consult specialist:

If nothing works then consult a specialist before your relationship reaches the level of destruction. Relationship counselors are professionally trained to deal with all kind of relationship problems and they know how to make it work in your favour.

Why it is necessary to cut ties with your friend the moment they illustrate a racist attitude

Do you have to maintain your racist friend just because they were your friends before you met your interracial partner?

Tricky huh! Kinda like having to condone your racist family. Well, this is a black and white situation.

Imagine introducing the love of your life or telling a friend about him or her only for them to exclaim: “He is white!” or ‘She is Asian!”. And this is not in a good way. They have disgust on their faces.

This is just an introduction. What will come next? What problems is this person going to cause for your relationship down the road? You need to ask yourself that.

Why you need to cut ties with your racist friend.

man walking way

One thing I tell people is: If someone is your friend, they need to accept you as you are. We are different people with different preferences. Would a friend reprimand you for dating a skinny dude of your own race? I don’t think so. So why should it matter that you are dating interracially?

Friends need to be people who are there for you no matter what. They need to support even the most stupid decisions you make, as long as you believe in what you are doing.

Now, if you have told your friend how much you are into this person who is of a different race, then they need to respect that. If they are racist, then they will go to whatever length to screw up your relationship. My advice: CUT TIES with them.

A friend will always want the best for you. They will support your romantic relationships no matter how screwed up they seem. And they will be there to pick up the pieces if things fall apart.

You don’t want your racist friend in your life that’s for sure. He or she will embarrass your new love in front of masses. My advice, tell them off and let them realize how much you are invested in the relationship. If they can’t get that and they still continue with the racist attitude, it’s about time to cut that cord.

It doesn’t matter how long you have known them. Racism is an unacceptable behavior. This is someone you cannot have involved in your life, especially your interracial love life. PERIOD!

Interracial couples shouldn’t be unusual anymore

How long has it been again since the Supreme Court ruling that allows for interracial couples to freely marry? 50 years!!! We are seeing more and more interracial couples. It should no longer be an unusual scene, right?

There are quite a number of senior interracial couples who got married in the 1960s. And their accounts of how things were those days are quite shocking. Some say they even had to enter separately when they went on dates at the movie theatres.

There are unique mixes of interracial couples:

A lot has changed since. And if we look at how interracial couples had to carry themselves out then and today, lives for mixed-race couples have greatly changed positively. And today, it’s not about seeing just Black and White couples. Some of these couples are uniquely mixed. For instance, Vietnamese-Japanese, Latino-Filipino… I could go on and on…

Looking back, I am sure most senior couples who married then, are grateful for this change. They no longer feel unusual coz today, it’s quite normal to bump into interracial couples. People are freer and more open and they have embraced mixed dating as part of the American dating culture.

Those days, interracial couples would be forced to move out of their homes. If you lived in a white neighborhood and you are a black and white couple, some of the white neighbors would move out. This is mainly because interracial couples were very unusual then.

There might be a few people who are still in denial about the existence of mixed couples. Is it ignorance or just being hard-headed about it? Well, that answer is for the few to answer.

As for the rest of the progressive Americans, let’s embrace this wonderful melting pot. The thing is, even those we consider as minorities are American citizens too. So why find them different when we basically share one culture; the American culture?

Most Americans today are mixed race. And the ones who claim to be of a certain race usually come to realize later that they once had a great-grandparent from a different race.

So about time that some people stopped making interracial couples feel unusual.


Problems that could potentially break up interracial couples

One in six newlyweds is married to someone of a different race or ethnicity, according to a recent Pew Research Center report. Perceptions about intermarriage are also changing. However, the rising number of newly married interracial couples does not always translate to happily ever after as often. Couples from different backgrounds could grow apart simply due to failure to handle differences, talk about challenges and stress they create, and external societal judgment and prejudice. The only way for any chance of success is to know what you’re up against.

Here are a few challenges interracial couples may face at some point or another.

Disapproval from family

The person you are dating may worry about the repercussions his family would feel back if word got out that they were romantically involved with someone of a different race. Furthermore, some family members could give one or both members of an interracial couple a hard time.

Judgment from the society at large

Most people in interracial relationships will experience some stereotyping and hurtful assumptions. The lingering stares, uncomfortable questions, and crude remarks are just some of the damaging racial microaggressions that interracial couples endure.

Differences in a couple’s expectations

We are shaped by our culture. As we grow up, we imprint certain belief systems. When couples fall in love, most of them assume they share similar goals for the future. As the relationship matures you will realize that you view things differently. That’s why it’s important to share your beliefs, histories, and dreams early. It’s vital that interracial couples decide on boundaries, guidelines, and plans for example what holidays you will celebrate, will you have children, what faith will your children be raised in etc.

Lack of compromise.

Lack of compromise can ruin any relationship. If a couple can’t find a way to agree on simple things the relationship will not stand the test of time. Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes whenever you can. Generosity, kindness and compassion can go a long way. The key is to give your partner a listening ear. Give them the benefit of doubt before jumping into any rush decisions.




What men look for in women on the first interracial date

Women gearing for their first interracial date might be skeptic if the guy they are going out will like them or not. A relationship between two people is heavily dependent on the success and impression that they have been able to crate on the first date on each other. The first interracial date is the stepping stone for a couple to take the relationship any further or leave it as a short term fling. Every human being is unique still there are a few basic requirements of men when it comes to building and developing a relationship with women.

interracial couple on first date

On the first interracial date your kindness and thoughtfulness will go a long way

Men look for a partner who can support and take care of them in their bad times. A woman with a kind a heart and a thoughtful personality will be an instant hit with all kinds and ages of men. Men tend to plan for the long term and will look for a compassionate woman who can take care of them at a later stage also. Men tend to look for emotional support and this support comes best from women who have a kind heart and a thoughtful nature. Thus kindness and thoughtfulness are two qualities that may override physical features for men looking for an interracial date.

Can she make her man laugh

If a woman is able to make a man laugh on her first interracial date there are 80% chances that the man will go in for a second date with that woman. Men love a sense of humor in women and are more comfortable with women who can make them laugh and laugh with them. Men are fun loving and try to be with someone who can make them smile, and fill the relationship with smiles laughs and silliness.

A confident woman on her first interracial date has a long way to go

Earlier women used to be thought to be as the lesser individuals and a shy submissive woman was what every man used to look for. However gone are those days and today mane like to date women who are confident of themselves and can matching the strides of men. No man would like to be sitting in front of a submissive, shy and quiet woman on his first interracial date. A woman who likes to go out and accept the challenges of the society is an instant hit with the most genuine men since they believe in equality of genders and roles in a relationship.

Exploring the Possibilities of Online Interracial Dating

Interracial dating is much more common today than ever before with 15% of all new marriages in the U.S. involving people with multicultural backgrounds. In addition, online dating continues to grow every year with no sign of slowing given the fast-paced society we live in. The nexus between these two trends can be very exciting for the interracial dating community. However, people do need to take a few things into consideration in order to find success.


interracial dating benefitsFirst, those who are thinking about dating outside of their own race for the first time need to ensure that they’re considering it for the right reasons. Attempting to make a rebellious statement by dating inter-racially does not lead to a sustainable relationship. Love can’t really be cultivated based on a cause or an agenda. Focusing on your partner’s views and their outlook instead of concentrating on what the world thinks about your relationship is what matters the most. True attraction that goes beneath the surface, a genuine interest in exploring someone else’s culture and a willingness to embrace their differences are the cornerstones of successful interracial dating.

Once someone has determined that interracial dating is right for them they may be likely to seek the internet as a viable way of meeting new people. When it comes to interracial dating, the online dating scene can actually be a godsend. People sign up for interracial dating sites because they know that the other members are like-minded when it comes to race. Getting over that first hurdle is crucial.

Many find it challenging to approach someone of a different race or ethnicity because there is obviously uncertainty about how their advance will be received. This is true in general about dating, but the concern tends to be magnified when it comes to the proverbial color barrier. Some feel that approaching a person of the same race is simply “safer” and that there will be a lesser likelihood of getting rejected from the outset. Interracial daters are often unsure about whether race will be a factor for another person so they may not make an advance at all – sometimes losing out on the possibility of a potential relationship. Online dating gives interracial daters an easier way to inquire about how open-minded a potential mate is and sites that cater to the interracial dating market provide an even greater assurance that a person of interest will not reject an advance based on race alone.

Another benefit of dating online is that there tends to be a community atmosphere where people can trade stories with each other. This is important to interracial daters because they typically have more challenges than their other single counterparts. When you’ve been stared at in public or people have made remarks about your pairing, it helps to be able to vent about it. The ability to talk about these experiences and get advice from people who are more likely to understand is definitely appealing and interracial dating sites offer that type of forum.

Overall, online dating can be a rewarding experience for interracial daters. The computer can serve as a filter, taking the guesswork out of whether to approach someone of a different race. And, of course, online dating lets a person get to know another before deciding whether to invest significant time into cultivating a romance. Interracial dating online simply offers more possibilities than hoping to bump into an open-minded person at the coffee shop or grocery store. Give it a try!

The role of kissing in an interracial relationship

Once you are into an interracial relationship via an online interracial dating website you are going to look forward to the first physical date or meeting in the real world. Expectations, excitement and the urge to meet someone you have just interacted via the internet seen pictures on your computer or smart phone is really overwhelming. The first date serves as a precursor for the relationship to flourish a lifetime. There is another factor that contributes a lot to an interracial relationship. Kissing your date forms an essential part of the relationship and goes a long way in contributing to the strength and well being of the relationship. Although you might not be able to kiss on the first date because of the comfort level that has not been developed amply or the place you have decided to meet. Kissing and dating are inseparable. Kissing on the first date is good sign provided both the partners are comfortable and the ambience to carry out the deed is perfect.

mixed couple kissing

Kissing is a stress buster in interracial relationships

Kissing your date releases the happy hormone inside your brain, your body relaxes and you are able to forget all your worries. Kissing is kind of a stress buster for both the partners. In an interracial relationship kissing also signals the acceptance of the partners. Interracial relationships sometimes are marred due to resistance from society, prying eyes of the people around you, all these factors take a back seat and you are more than happy with your relationship once your kissing sessions start.

Kissing is the bridge for bonding in an interracial relationship

Kissing is one activity that boosts the bonding and helps it make strong in an interracial relationship. Keeping your partner interested in you and having a contact that makes the sparks fly is must to take your relationship for a long run. Kissing in turn helps release the happy hormones from the body which makes the interracial couple attach more and more to one another. This is one activity that will surely help one to add cement to the already developing relationship.

Kissing builds emotional attachment in an interracial relationship

Kissing in an interracial relationship makes sure that you are attached to each other emotionally and have feelings for one another. Kissing is not merely a physical activity, it helps the interracial couple to develop emotional attachment and make sure they stay connected to each other via charged up emotions. Kissing makes sure that you have an understanding of the emotional and physical needs of your interracial partner.

Kissing adds to the romance in an interracial relationship

Romance is something that may fade with time if activities like touching and kissing are avoided for a long time. A kiss at the very start of the relationship will ensure that the interracial couple wants to continue with the relationship. Keeping the romance alive all through the relationship will ensure that you have a long term relationship with your interracial partner. Keep your relationship happening with a harmless peck on the cheek or a passionate smooch.

Dating a Black woman – A few pointers to go along

Dating a black woman is a dream come true for many people who take their dating as serious business. Getting to see a black woman is in itself a big achievement for anyone since black women are hard to find and even harder is the attempt to get them to date you. Black women are strong enough emotionally and mentally and will see through your intentions and mind. Dating a black woman is surely a great feeling however you need to go with an open mind while dating a black woman to foster the relationship into a long term relationship.

Do not try to pretend black while dating a black woman

black woman portraitWhile dating a black woman if you are from another race you don’t have to pretend that you are black. Be yourself. You don’t have to take up an accent that is typical of a black man. Do not make remarks that make her feel as if she is being objectified. Treat her like any other normal woman and behave the way you would have behaved with a woman of your race. While driving her play music that is trendy or something that you love not something that you think would be apt having a black woman with you at that time. While ordering for something to eat allow her to order on her own and do not try to give suggestions on the basis of information you have of what black women like to eat.

Do not assume anything while dating a black woman

Assumptions in relationships are deal breakers. You assume something about your dating partner and the relationship goes for a toss. Having a broken relationship in the past or a bad past in terms of dating and relationships should not hinder you to assume that your experience while dating a black woman is going to be same. Forget or at least put your past behind when going out on a date with a black woman. She may also have the same experiences about the past so it is better to talk and not assume things that may be going on in your head. Having an ability to communicate and resolve any issues or complications will surely take you a long way in terms of your relationship with a black woman.

Do not show off while dating a black woman

Getting to date a black woman is not that hard with so many interracial dating websites on the web. However earning the respect of your black date is the real man’s objective especially on the first date. Earning respect via showing off your money, branded clothes, expensive accessories or your large SUV is not possible. You will only be attracting gold diggers instead of genuine black women while showing off. Wear your style in form of your attitude, dress and manners. Instead of talking about money and your business it would be great if you can talk about childhood, work, the places you have stayed and hobbies you enjoy in your spare time.

Your open minded attitude will help you

While dating a black woman do not go with any pre conceived notions. Go with an open mind and let things unfold by themselves. Flow with the conversations and time. Be ready to bust a few myths you might be having in your mind about her race. Be ready to hear something that your don’t really approve of. Be ready to hear the other side of the story and expose yourself to an entirely different style of living customs and ideas she may bring to the table.


Online Dating Etiquette

looking for dates onlineHow many of us have been reduced to meeting available singles online? Unfortunately, this describes a lot of us lately especially due to our busy lifestyles. There are so many different online services, where you fill out basic information about yourself and what you are looking for in a potential mate. You anxiously await a response to your “ad” and bingo, one finally arrives! You are excited to read it and quickly reply to the email and ask many questions of your potential mate.
The email that you get in return is one big disappointment. It amazes me that so many people exhibit such bad manners in their emails! Are you guilty of this? I bet that you are and might not even be aware of it! There is nothing worse than droning on in an entire email about yourself and asking no questions of the person that you are hoping to get to know better. How do you expect the receiver to respond to this type of email? They may be polite enough to try again and worse, you respond again by just answering their questions while asking none of your own! This behaviour will surely result in you spending many a Friday night alone!

If you are serious about getting to know each other, ask questions, be funny in your emails and remember to take an interest in the other person! Remember, it’s not all about you, your Aunt Edna or your pet monkey!

Here is a Top 10 list of things to do and not do when trying to get to know someone via email:
1. Ask questions about the person, their family, likes, dislikes and encourage a conversation

2.Do a spell check before sending the email!

3. Show humour throughout the entire email; they will be more likely to respond!

4.Give some thought to your email and the message you wish to convey

5. Don’t use a lot of online lingoes (LOL, etc). You don’t want to give the reader the impression that you are more comfortable talking on email than actually meeting!

6. Be completely honest. After all, you are hoping to actually meet this person, aren’t you?
7.Respond to an email within a couple of days. It shows that you are interested and considerate.

8.Don’t suggest meeting in the first email. It may take her some time to warm to the idea!

9. Be polite

10. Have fun, this might be your soul mate!

Enjoy the process of getting to know people as you might make a wonderful friend or two!