There have been many achievements in the race relations in the U. S. in the past years. In fact, National Geographic mentioned that we have already become a country where there is no black or white. Yet, many parents are still traditional and may frown on black and white dating. Our mothers and father usually belong to a different generation and we do not know what discriminative attitudes they picked up along the way. They might even cling to it till the end. Even in this present society where acceptance is seemingly prevailing, we cannot really control the notions and reactions of our parents.
Introducing your significant other/partner to your parents for the first can be intimidating and sometimes downright scary. It is more difficult when we are introducing a partner of a different race. However, we can learn from these tips when introducing our significant other to our parents.
Prepare your parents and your partner
It is good if you initially discuss to your parents that your partner is of a different race before the first meet –up. Highlight the positive attributes of your partner. Every parent wants the best for their children. This expectation extends to your life partner. By discussing beforehand that you are in an interracial relationship, you can already gauge the extent of the reaction you will have on the actual meet – up.
Talk to you partner also
Prior to the big meeting, talk to your partner. Discuss the attitudes and biases that your parents have, especially related to your relationship. It is of a big help if you can shed light on the background and experiences of your parents and the family. This will provide a context in understanding their reaction to your partner and the relationship. This is a helpful information to your partner so he/she can prepare.
For some interracial couples, the problem with getting to be familiar with the other members of the family is communication. Differences in the language used is a big factor for most couples. If you have this issue, expect this type of difficulty during a meet-up and be prepared to address such. You can translate or expound on the words spoken by the members of your family.
Aim high but don’t expect too much
During the meeting, be observant of the reactions of your parents and your partner. It might be that they will not immediately warm up to each other. Expect a bit of animosity between the parties but that’s part of the knowing each other process. You may expect some whispered negativity but take things in a stride as you can address them easily.
Talk to your partner beforehand that your expectations should not be that high as not be frustrated. You should expect the best but allow deviations from your goal.
Show genuine regard for your partner. Your parents can tell if what you have for each other is real. This will probably sway their notion based on what they see as going on between the two of you.
Determine what is real and go for it
If all else will fail, especially if there is an open conflict that happens between you and your parents, maybe they cannot accept the idea of black and white dating. Then, you might as well dig into the depths of your heart. You need to decide if it is fine to have disagreements with your parents with your choice. You have to make sure that you are fine with the reactions that you might be getting later on with regards to your relationship. Anyway, a good love is worth fight for.