Don’t ruin your perfect day by inviting this person to your interracial wedding

Is it wise to invite a disapproving family member to your interracial wedding?

When it comes to interracial relationships, much as there is a high acceptance of these relationships, not everyone is on board. As a couple, you need to be prepared for some resistance. Unfortunately, some of this resistance might come from our friends or close family members.

As a couple planning a wedding, if you have reached the nuptials bit, chances are you have chosen to ignore the opinions of this disapproving family member. So even if they were against your relationship, as a couple you have chosen love over family relationships.

Now if you have made such a decision, then definitely there is probably bad blood between you and this person. So as a couple planning their interracial wedding, it would be wise not to have this person in your black and white wedding party.

The thing is: a wedding day should be something special for a couple. It needs to go on without any hitches. So if there are some family members who are against your union, make the wedding a card-only affair. Your wedding should be a day for people who are supportive of your relationship to come and share it with you.

Someone who isn’t supportive will definitely come and make a scene at your wedding. Usually, they start with the drinking uncontrollably and then there they go fighting to make a speech. And if you let them, it won’t go well.

Weddings are memorable occasions. It is a celebration of love. So do you want the memories of that special day to be one that leaves your newly wedded spouse in tears… hurtful tears? Definitely not!

If someone isn’t supportive of your relationship in this age and era, then DON’T include them in your interracial wedding. Don’t even ask for their opinion when planning it. Just tell them gently in advance that if they have chosen not to respect your choice of spouse, then they are not welcome anywhere near them.

As a couple in an interracial marriage, you need to stand together. And one way to make it work is to protect one another against anyone who comes against you.

 

Why it is necessary to cut ties with your friend the moment they illustrate a racist attitude

Do you have to maintain your racist friend just because they were your friends before you met your interracial partner?

Tricky huh! Kinda like having to condone your racist family. Well, this is a black and white situation.

Imagine introducing the love of your life or telling a friend about him or her only for them to exclaim: “He is white!” or ‘She is Asian!”. And this is not in a good way. They have disgust on their faces.

This is just an introduction. What will come next? What problems is this person going to cause for your relationship down the road? You need to ask yourself that.

Why you need to cut ties with your racist friend.

man walking way

One thing I tell people is: If someone is your friend, they need to accept you as you are. We are different people with different preferences. Would a friend reprimand you for dating a skinny dude of your own race? I don’t think so. So why should it matter that you are dating interracially?

Friends need to be people who are there for you no matter what. They need to support even the most stupid decisions you make, as long as you believe in what you are doing.

Now, if you have told your friend how much you are into this person who is of a different race, then they need to respect that. If they are racist, then they will go to whatever length to screw up your relationship. My advice: CUT TIES with them.

A friend will always want the best for you. They will support your romantic relationships no matter how screwed up they seem. And they will be there to pick up the pieces if things fall apart.

You don’t want your racist friend in your life that’s for sure. He or she will embarrass your new love in front of masses. My advice, tell them off and let them realize how much you are invested in the relationship. If they can’t get that and they still continue with the racist attitude, it’s about time to cut that cord.

It doesn’t matter how long you have known them. Racism is an unacceptable behavior. This is someone you cannot have involved in your life, especially your interracial love life. PERIOD!

Overcoming the lack of physical contact in an online relationship

With the advent of the advancement in internet technology, online relationships become popular and common. Online dating sites proliferate and have evolved into different niches like Interracial Dating sites to address specific needs of dates.

Before with the long – distance relationship, you can just hear the voice or read the letters of your loved ones. With the internet, there are other dimensions in the communication, yet the issue of the lack of physical contact is still very real and pressing.

Romantic relationships fulfill our needs as individuals. We need someone to fill our emotional, mental and of course, our physical needs. Touching, hugging and feeling another human being is necessary for validating our humanness. But what happens when there is a lack of physical contact. Can the relationship survive in this condition?

Many people frown upon a long distance online relationship. They say that the distance and not being able to see each other face to face will always put a dent in a relationship. Most opinions rest on the situations that not being able to see each other as soon as you can or as much as you can will the cause of the demise of the online relationship.  Thus, most recommend that those who meet up online should meet up immediately as a mere online relationship is not a “real” relationship.

Those with online relationships tend to disagree with these opinions. The long-distance relationship causes you to idealize your partner making the relationship more intimate. When you are apart from your partner the tendency for you is to build a strong relationship as you are up against many disadvantages.

Be honest with each other

Not seeing that person face to face does not mean that you can just say what you want or do what you want. You should be honest with your partner, similar to when you are physically together. This is a good base for which your relationship should rest on. Talk about how each other feels about the lack of physical contact. Express what you can handle and ask your partner also. If you or your partner is somewhat very affectionate, work out ways on how you can make the relationship grow. YOU can devise plans for a meet – up or other activities online.

Schedule periods when to best communicate

Being apart does not mean that you will be online and be with your partner throughout the day. Identify time schedule when to best talk to each other to maximize your communication at the same time do things that you have to do offline. Communication is very important for an online relationship so it should be given full attention and  full affection to make it work

Take time to do things together

You can involve your partner as much as you can in things that you love to do like watching a movie online together. You can do a video call and invite your partner to appreciate your favorite hangout places like restaurants or coffee shops. It doesn’t have a grand gesture which you need to plan and spend so much. Watching the sunset together through a video call is very romantic and your partner will surely appreciate it.

Leave your partner a memento

Give a small material gift to your partner that she or he can hold on to. Could be a stuffed  toy, a bracelet, a ring or a perfume. It is something that your partner can touch as a reminder of the feelings that you have.  These tangible objects can become powerful symbols of love and affection, especially when you are not online and you feel a longing for the presence of your partner

Give a focus to the emotions

Rather than focus on the physical aspect, both of you should turn to building your emotional and mental connections. This involves strengthening your attachment, closeness and your commitment to each other. Sharing your dreams, hopes, thoughts, and emotions can boost your emotional connection.

Attend to each other’s’ needs

For a couple, sexual tension comes naturally as sex is a basic biological and physiological need.  The desire to hold someone physically is always present. Our relationship should fulfill not only our emotional needs but our physical needs. For some , teasing and being sexually provocative online is sufficient. But for some, they release the sexual tensions through cybersex and phone sex. It really depends on the level of the maturity of the relationship. Both of you will have to determine which mode satisfies the need for the other.

 

 

 

How to successfully introduce your partner in an interracial relationship?

black man white womanThere have been many achievements in the race relations in the U. S. in the past years. In fact, National Geographic mentioned that we have already become a country where there is no black or white. Yet, many parents are still traditional and may frown on black and white dating.  Our mothers and father usually belong to a different generation and we do not know what discriminative attitudes they picked up along the way. They might even cling to it till the end. Even in this present society where acceptance is seemingly prevailing, we cannot really control the notions and reactions of our parents.

Introducing your significant other/partner to your parents for the first can be intimidating and sometimes downright scary. It is more difficult when we are introducing a partner of a different race. However, we can learn from these tips when introducing our significant other to our parents.

Prepare your parents and your partner

It is good if you initially discuss to your parents that your partner is of a different race before the first meet –up.   Highlight the positive attributes of your partner. Every parent wants the best for their children. This expectation extends to your life partner. By discussing beforehand that you are in an interracial relationship, you can already gauge the extent of the reaction you will have on the actual meet – up.

Talk to you partner also

Prior to the big meeting, talk to your partner. Discuss the attitudes and biases that your parents have, especially related to your relationship. It is of a big help if you can shed light on the background and experiences of your parents and the family. This will provide a context in understanding their reaction to your partner and the relationship. This is a helpful information to your partner so he/she can prepare.

Anticipate issues

For some interracial couples, the problem with getting to be familiar with the other members of the family is communication. Differences in the language used is a big factor for most couples. If you have this issue, expect this type of difficulty during a meet-up and be prepared to address such. You can translate or expound on the words spoken by the members of your family.

Aim high but don’t expect too much

During the meeting, be observant of the reactions of your parents and your partner. It might be that they will not immediately warm up to each other. Expect a bit of animosity between the parties but that’s part of the knowing each other process. You may expect some whispered negativity but take things in a stride as you can address them easily.

Talk to your partner beforehand that your expectations should not be that high as not be frustrated. You should expect the best but allow deviations from your goal.

Show genuine regard for your partner. Your parents can tell if what you have for each other is real. This will probably sway their notion based on what they see as going on between the two of you.

Determine what is real and go for it

If all else will fail, especially if there is an open conflict that happens between you and your parents, maybe they cannot accept the idea of black and white dating.  Then, you might as well dig into the depths of your heart. You need to decide if it is fine to have disagreements with your parents with your choice. You have to make sure that you are fine with the reactions that you might be getting later on with regards to your relationship.  Anyway, a good love is worth fight for.

Interracial couples shouldn’t be unusual anymore

How long has it been again since the Supreme Court ruling that allows for interracial couples to freely marry? 50 years!!! We are seeing more and more interracial couples. It should no longer be an unusual scene, right?

There are quite a number of senior interracial couples who got married in the 1960s. And their accounts of how things were those days are quite shocking. Some say they even had to enter separately when they went on dates at the movie theatres.

There are unique mixes of interracial couples:

A lot has changed since. And if we look at how interracial couples had to carry themselves out then and today, lives for mixed-race couples have greatly changed positively. And today, it’s not about seeing just Black and White couples. Some of these couples are uniquely mixed. For instance, Vietnamese-Japanese, Latino-Filipino… I could go on and on…

Looking back, I am sure most senior couples who married then, are grateful for this change. They no longer feel unusual coz today, it’s quite normal to bump into interracial couples. People are freer and more open and they have embraced mixed dating as part of the American dating culture.

Those days, interracial couples would be forced to move out of their homes. If you lived in a white neighborhood and you are a black and white couple, some of the white neighbors would move out. This is mainly because interracial couples were very unusual then.

There might be a few people who are still in denial about the existence of mixed couples. Is it ignorance or just being hard-headed about it? Well, that answer is for the few to answer.

As for the rest of the progressive Americans, let’s embrace this wonderful melting pot. The thing is, even those we consider as minorities are American citizens too. So why find them different when we basically share one culture; the American culture?

Most Americans today are mixed race. And the ones who claim to be of a certain race usually come to realize later that they once had a great-grandparent from a different race.

So about time that some people stopped making interracial couples feel unusual.

 

Problems that could potentially break up interracial couples

One in six newlyweds is married to someone of a different race or ethnicity, according to a recent Pew Research Center report. Perceptions about intermarriage are also changing. However, the rising number of newly married interracial couples does not always translate to happily ever after as often. Couples from different backgrounds could grow apart simply due to failure to handle differences, talk about challenges and stress they create, and external societal judgment and prejudice. The only way for any chance of success is to know what you’re up against.

Here are a few challenges interracial couples may face at some point or another.

Disapproval from family

The person you are dating may worry about the repercussions his family would feel back if word got out that they were romantically involved with someone of a different race. Furthermore, some family members could give one or both members of an interracial couple a hard time.

Judgment from the society at large

Most people in interracial relationships will experience some stereotyping and hurtful assumptions. The lingering stares, uncomfortable questions, and crude remarks are just some of the damaging racial microaggressions that interracial couples endure.

Differences in a couple’s expectations

We are shaped by our culture. As we grow up, we imprint certain belief systems. When couples fall in love, most of them assume they share similar goals for the future. As the relationship matures you will realize that you view things differently. That’s why it’s important to share your beliefs, histories, and dreams early. It’s vital that interracial couples decide on boundaries, guidelines, and plans for example what holidays you will celebrate, will you have children, what faith will your children be raised in etc.

Lack of compromise.

Lack of compromise can ruin any relationship. If a couple can’t find a way to agree on simple things the relationship will not stand the test of time. Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes whenever you can. Generosity, kindness and compassion can go a long way. The key is to give your partner a listening ear. Give them the benefit of doubt before jumping into any rush decisions.

 

 

 

What men look for in women on the first interracial date

Women gearing for their first interracial date might be skeptic if the guy they are going out will like them or not. A relationship between two people is heavily dependent on the success and impression that they have been able to crate on the first date on each other. The first interracial date is the stepping stone for a couple to take the relationship any further or leave it as a short term fling. Every human being is unique still there are a few basic requirements of men when it comes to building and developing a relationship with women.

interracial couple on first date

On the first interracial date your kindness and thoughtfulness will go a long way

Men look for a partner who can support and take care of them in their bad times. A woman with a kind a heart and a thoughtful personality will be an instant hit with all kinds and ages of men. Men tend to plan for the long term and will look for a compassionate woman who can take care of them at a later stage also. Men tend to look for emotional support and this support comes best from women who have a kind heart and a thoughtful nature. Thus kindness and thoughtfulness are two qualities that may override physical features for men looking for an interracial date.

Can she make her man laugh

If a woman is able to make a man laugh on her first interracial date there are 80% chances that the man will go in for a second date with that woman. Men love a sense of humor in women and are more comfortable with women who can make them laugh and laugh with them. Men are fun loving and try to be with someone who can make them smile, and fill the relationship with smiles laughs and silliness.

A confident woman on her first interracial date has a long way to go

Earlier women used to be thought to be as the lesser individuals and a shy submissive woman was what every man used to look for. However gone are those days and today mane like to date women who are confident of themselves and can matching the strides of men. No man would like to be sitting in front of a submissive, shy and quiet woman on his first interracial date. A woman who likes to go out and accept the challenges of the society is an instant hit with the most genuine men since they believe in equality of genders and roles in a relationship.

Spicing up your interracial relationship

Keeping the excitement alive in an interracial relationship is not really tough. You just need to make sure that you keep reinventing your relationship and techniques every time you are with your interracial partner. Keep your interracial partner guessing about your next move or the next element of surprise you are going to get into the relationship. You don’t have to go an extra way to do it. A small amount of effort on your part is going to do the trick and help you and your interracial relationship go places in the times to come.

how to spicy up your dating life

Continuous flirting in the interracial relationship is going to add to the spice

We stop flirting with our interracial dating partner as soon as the relationship is official. This is the start of a slow death of the excitement and charisma of the relationship. Keep flirting with your interracial dating partner whenever you get a chance. Do it on the phone, in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the car, literally everywhere where you get a chance. Keep your flirtatious attitude alive with your interracial date. This is surely going to add spice and keep the relationship interesting for a long time.

Teasing each other makes spark fly

Teasing to a limit is harmless and builds the excitement. Constant teasing in an interracial relationship is helpful in keeping the excitement and exhilaration alive. Every time you tease you partner you are coming closer to each other and making him or her desperate for more from you. However be a bit cautious while teasing. Anything that is overboard will kill the relationship.

Look for opportunities to spend time together

Apart from the me time that you have kept aside for yourself, try and be with your interracial dating partner. Plan out weekend’s together, shopping sprees can be planned together and of course having a few intimate moments while you are together is really important for the relationship. If you are comfortable and like the company of each other and keep longing for more time together your relationship is going to go a long way.

Be adventurous inside and outside the bedroom

The adrenaline rush in both of you is going to keep the relationship young and spicy. Do things that you may think are crazy. Try things in the bedroom you have just heard of however before that make your partner comfortable and make the atmosphere conducive for whatever you are planning to do. Experimenting with one another with new, exciting and adventurous activities is surely going to take the relationship a long way.

Being touchy and feely all through the relationship is going to help

Touching your interracial relationship partner is going to ensure that your bonding and contact elevates with time. Generally couples are quite touchy and feely initially however with time they tend to keep their hands to themselves. Don’t rest while you are around. A loving or sensual touch will elevate the mood of your interracial dating partner and you are going to love the time you are together. Keeping the spice alive in an interracial relationship is not that tough. Small gestures and actions can help you elevate the experience you are going to have in that relationship.

 

Exploring the Possibilities of Online Interracial Dating

Interracial dating is much more common today than ever before with 15% of all new marriages in the U.S. involving people with multicultural backgrounds. In addition, online dating continues to grow every year with no sign of slowing given the fast-paced society we live in. The nexus between these two trends can be very exciting for the interracial dating community. However, people do need to take a few things into consideration in order to find success.

 

interracial dating benefitsFirst, those who are thinking about dating outside of their own race for the first time need to ensure that they’re considering it for the right reasons. Attempting to make a rebellious statement by dating inter-racially does not lead to a sustainable relationship. Love can’t really be cultivated based on a cause or an agenda. Focusing on your partner’s views and their outlook instead of concentrating on what the world thinks about your relationship is what matters the most. True attraction that goes beneath the surface, a genuine interest in exploring someone else’s culture and a willingness to embrace their differences are the cornerstones of successful interracial dating.

Once someone has determined that interracial dating is right for them they may be likely to seek the internet as a viable way of meeting new people. When it comes to interracial dating, the online dating scene can actually be a godsend. People sign up for interracial dating sites because they know that the other members are like-minded when it comes to race. Getting over that first hurdle is crucial.

Many find it challenging to approach someone of a different race or ethnicity because there is obviously uncertainty about how their advance will be received. This is true in general about dating, but the concern tends to be magnified when it comes to the proverbial color barrier. Some feel that approaching a person of the same race is simply “safer” and that there will be a lesser likelihood of getting rejected from the outset. Interracial daters are often unsure about whether race will be a factor for another person so they may not make an advance at all – sometimes losing out on the possibility of a potential relationship. Online dating gives interracial daters an easier way to inquire about how open-minded a potential mate is and sites that cater to the interracial dating market provide an even greater assurance that a person of interest will not reject an advance based on race alone.

Another benefit of dating online is that there tends to be a community atmosphere where people can trade stories with each other. This is important to interracial daters because they typically have more challenges than their other single counterparts. When you’ve been stared at in public or people have made remarks about your pairing, it helps to be able to vent about it. The ability to talk about these experiences and get advice from people who are more likely to understand is definitely appealing and interracial dating sites offer that type of forum.

Overall, online dating can be a rewarding experience for interracial daters. The computer can serve as a filter, taking the guesswork out of whether to approach someone of a different race. And, of course, online dating lets a person get to know another before deciding whether to invest significant time into cultivating a romance. Interracial dating online simply offers more possibilities than hoping to bump into an open-minded person at the coffee shop or grocery store. Give it a try!

The role of kissing in an interracial relationship

Once you are into an interracial relationship via an online interracial dating website you are going to look forward to the first physical date or meeting in the real world. Expectations, excitement and the urge to meet someone you have just interacted via the internet seen pictures on your computer or smart phone is really overwhelming. The first date serves as a precursor for the relationship to flourish a lifetime. There is another factor that contributes a lot to an interracial relationship. Kissing your date forms an essential part of the relationship and goes a long way in contributing to the strength and well being of the relationship. Although you might not be able to kiss on the first date because of the comfort level that has not been developed amply or the place you have decided to meet. Kissing and dating are inseparable. Kissing on the first date is good sign provided both the partners are comfortable and the ambience to carry out the deed is perfect.

mixed couple kissing

Kissing is a stress buster in interracial relationships

Kissing your date releases the happy hormone inside your brain, your body relaxes and you are able to forget all your worries. Kissing is kind of a stress buster for both the partners. In an interracial relationship kissing also signals the acceptance of the partners. Interracial relationships sometimes are marred due to resistance from society, prying eyes of the people around you, all these factors take a back seat and you are more than happy with your relationship once your kissing sessions start.

Kissing is the bridge for bonding in an interracial relationship

Kissing is one activity that boosts the bonding and helps it make strong in an interracial relationship. Keeping your partner interested in you and having a contact that makes the sparks fly is must to take your relationship for a long run. Kissing in turn helps release the happy hormones from the body which makes the interracial couple attach more and more to one another. This is one activity that will surely help one to add cement to the already developing relationship.

Kissing builds emotional attachment in an interracial relationship

Kissing in an interracial relationship makes sure that you are attached to each other emotionally and have feelings for one another. Kissing is not merely a physical activity, it helps the interracial couple to develop emotional attachment and make sure they stay connected to each other via charged up emotions. Kissing makes sure that you have an understanding of the emotional and physical needs of your interracial partner.

Kissing adds to the romance in an interracial relationship

Romance is something that may fade with time if activities like touching and kissing are avoided for a long time. A kiss at the very start of the relationship will ensure that the interracial couple wants to continue with the relationship. Keeping the romance alive all through the relationship will ensure that you have a long term relationship with your interracial partner. Keep your relationship happening with a harmless peck on the cheek or a passionate smooch.