Overcoming sadness during an informal separation

An informal separation is when a couple makes the decision not to live together for a bit to see if they can salvage the relationship. This usually happens when a couple is probably having issues that are better solved when they apart. Sometimes this actually helps the relationship. However, this trial separation can also lead to an official separation as the couple might realize that they are better off apart.

How does one handle such a separation?

Ways to ease sadness that occurs during a trial separation

Stay off social media

dealing with seperation

Social media can make an informal separation quite difficult especially if your partner is one who likes posting every single moment and every event of the day. It can make you get the impression that they are having a blast and that they are handling the separation well. It might make you think they are moving on with their lives while in real sense they probably aren’t. Take a break from social media and stop going through your partner’s pages. It will make things much easier for you.

Surround yourself with supportive friends who aren’t friends of your separated party

Every man or woman had friends they had before they met their special someone. Well, stop hanging out with friends that you both shared and start hanging out with only those that you can claim to be your own. Friends that you share can also give some misleading information because at some point they are forced to pick sides. Instead of calling them to find out if your separated party is miserable, hang out with those friends who are supportive and who have got your back.

Find a hobby during the informal separation

friends hiking

Keeping busy is one of the best ways that can make the loneliness that creeps in during the trial separation go away. Take up swimming. Go hiking with friends over the weekend. Read a book. These will all take your mind off the separation. At the same way, it will be a great way to meet new people and see things in a different light.

Identifying the perfect type of person for you

What is the perfect type of person? This can be a bit tricky for most people. In my words, the perfect person is one who brings out the best in you. The perfect mate is one who finds little ways to make you happy. But then again, perfect is relative, right? Well, here are some ways to figure out if someone is right for you.

How to identify if somebody is the perfect person for you

Do you enjoy the same activities?

One thing that keeps couples stronger together is having similar interests. This is one thing that can create a lasting bond between a couple. Do you both love hiking? How about dancing or traveling? So long as you can enjoy doing things together, then that is a person to keep.

Do conversations flow easily?

Cheesy as it might sound, this is one way to identify if someone is the perfect type for you. The thing is, even the quietest person will always have something to say. Now, if you are really in sync, then this should come easily. Is this a person you can’t wait to get home and tell them how your day was? Is this someone when you see something funny you pick up the phone and tell them immediately? If yes, then they are great for you.

Are you both introverts or extroverts?

There may be a bit of contention here because some might argue that opposites attract. However, if you look at it deeply, people with similar personality traits usually bond. For instance, it will be hard for someone who loves to host parties every weekend to make it work with someone whose perfect weekend is just sitting in front of the TV.

The perfect type is someone you share similar goals

Do you both want kids? Do you both want an urban life or rural life? Some of these things may seem like they are not important at first. But later in life, they become the main causes of issues in relationships. Identify these things from the start and make sure that both of you are on the same page in order to have the perfect mate.

Online tips to help you succeed at dating

Online dating is one of the greatest inventions in the past two decades, it has made the whole process of finding an eligible partner very easy and cost-effective.

Online dating has allowed you to find an ideal partner without stepping out of your comfort zone, still, many people are finding it difficult to get enough matches.

Although online dating is quite easy, it requires a set of qualities to attract more matches. Let’s discuss some tips to help you succeed at dating online.

Pay more emphasis on the profile picture

Your communication and flirting skills will be of no use if no one click through your profile, an average user takes less then 2 seconds to decide whether you swap left of right.

Your profile picture is going to be your first impression and the leading factor behind your success in the online dating world. Here are some tips to upload a good profile picture:

  • Upload a closeup profile picture
  • Smile more often in the picture, your smile has a psychological effect on people.  
  • Upload a photo doing some adventure.
  • Upload a photo while pursuing your hobby, it will help people understand you better.
  • Have a plain background.
online dating tips

Biography is important

Biography is the second most important thing that you need to take care of. Your biography describes you and allows people to understand your behavioral pattern in a better way.

Studies have found that people who mentioned detailed biography were more likely to get more matches.

Importance of the first message

So now you have got a few matches from beautiful people, now its time to start with a unique greeting.

You need to understand this, good people are getting a high number of messages and casual ‘Hii’ or ‘Hello’ is not going to attract their response.

To get the communication started, do little research about them through going through their biography and then try to initiate communication with a legitimate question.

Conversation date do’s and don’t

There are some conversation rules online dating that you should be following, let’s have a look at them.

  • Keep things nonsexual in the first few conversations, most of the people are looking for genuine relationships and your sexual talks will not be entertained.
  • Be honest while you give your introduction, you can surely fool people with rented car or mansion, but that kind of relationship won’t sustain for long period.
  • You are not required for a month of chatting before you actually ask her for a date, after three days of constant talks, you can ask her out for a coffee.
  • Respond quickly, else lose your chance to date her.
  • Chat at night instead of daytime, most of the eligible bachelors or bachelorettes have work in the daytime, the night is the most preferred time for most people.

Tips for older men dating older women

Love and relationship is an important aspect of life and everyone required someone to accompany, things get more complicated when you are old and single.

It’s sad to know that there are people who are old and alone, they have the right to find a partner who can accompany them for their remaining life. Let’s get straight to the point and discuss about old couple dating tips.

How to find love?

Finding love is difficult for old people, but here are some tips to efficiently find a partner who can accompany you for the rest of your life.

Online dating

There are many specialty dating websites that concentrate on the old couple, these dating websites are an easy and efficient solution to find the love of life without investing a lot of energy.

Community centers

If you believe in old-school techniques then you can opt for joining community centers where you can find the most compatible partner for yourself.

Dating coaches and matchmakers

If you still find it difficult to find a partner then you can consult some dating coaches and matchmakers who can give you some practical advice to make things possible for you.

older men dating

Some dating tips for old couples.

Act according to your age

There is no need to portray yourself as a current generation, its okay to be yourself and act according to your age.

Stay confident

You know that you are old and you are not as strong as you were earlier, but that should not stop you from falling in love again.

Being old school is okay

Again, you don’t need to bother about the current style of dating, you can stick to the old school style of dating which include classic dinner dates and some ball dance.

Not everyone is looking for marriage

Its okay if you are not looking to get married again but you are looking for a active companion, there are people who are not looking for marriage. You can find a partner who is looking to have dinner with, watch some movies, walk around, etc.

When Seeking Help For Relationship Problems, Who Should You Talk To?

Conflicts arise in every relationship, how you handle the situation matter most. Before we got on the point of “who to consult”, let’s talk about “how to avoid relationship problems”

Avoiding problems in the relationship isn’t big deal, you need to take care of some set of rule to restrain yourself in converting the small disagreement into conflict.

Avoid yelling:

Yelling at each other makes the situation worst, whenever there is a disagreement between both you need to stay calm and avoid getting into argument.

seeking help

Admit your mistake:

Admit your mistake if you are responsible for the fight, admitting can help you save your relationship.


communication is the biggest tool that you can use to avoid conflicts in a relationship, I have seen many couples who lack communication in the relationship which ultimately leads to disputes. good communication will help you both stay on the same page.

Define a set of boundaries:

Every relationship need to have boundaries, every person has their own limit of tolerance and it’s better to recognize those limits.

Recognition of limits will help you stopping you to cross your boundary.

Some time compromise:

Sometimes it’s better to put your ego in your pant and compromise with the situation, I have seen many relations getting ruined because of ego problems.

seeking help

People you should talk to when you can’t resolve the problem on your own.

So if you are unable to resolve your relationship problem on your own and your relationship has reached to the point where it needs some external help then there are few people you should have a talk with.

Consult friends:

Sometimes you expect a lot from your partner and friends plays a important role as a mediator in the conflict.

Consult family members:

No one knows you better than your family, they have been watching your habits since you were a kid and they know how a problem can be resolved. Additionally, elderly members of the family have more experience about the relationship and they are eligible enough to give you the right advice.  

Consult specialist:

If nothing works then consult a specialist before your relationship reaches the level of destruction. Relationship counselors are professionally trained to deal with all kind of relationship problems and they know how to make it work in your favour.

Start planning for 2019 – great holidays for you and your interracial partner to consider

Couples don’t generally need a festival to celebrate their love, if you are bored of your 9-5 job and planning to give yourself a break with your partner then allow me to suggest some of the best romantic places on earth that can help you ignite the fire of love once again.

Unforgettable time at Antigua

Antigua is a perfect holiday destination for any couple; it has got everything to offer that a couple can ask for, beautiful landscape, great weather and tropical forest. Beautiful beaches and local food will surely drive you crazy.

2019 holidaysNature lover at the Maldives

Get rid of your stressful life while visiting the beautiful string of islands. Whether you are nature lover or not but the Maldives will surely knock you down with the beauty it possesses, from a number of incredibly beautifully beaches to discovering the tropical marine life through scuba diving.

Water bungalows perch over cyan blue waters will give you the most beautiful experience of your life. Even if that isn’t enough for you then you can book a traditional massage for next level relaxation.

Party at Las Vegas

It’s not necessary that you need to visit for a naturally beautiful place for a romantic trip,  you can surely plan for most beautiful man-made party destination as well.

It’s a one in a lifetime experience and no doubt that there is no other place than Las Vegas, an oasis in the middle of the desert. If you are someone who loves to party then you can never find a better place then this.2019 holidays

Beach lovers: Cyprus

There is no place in the world who has got so many blue flag certified beaches in the world. Blue flag certification is an assurance about the quality and pollution level of beaches and seawater. If beaches are not enough to convince you for the trip, then let me tell you that Cyprus is also known for its nightlife, it’s also known as a Europe’s best party destination.

Don’t ruin your perfect day by inviting this person to your interracial wedding

Is it wise to invite a disapproving family member to your interracial wedding?

When it comes to interracial relationships, much as there is a high acceptance of these relationships, not everyone is on board. As a couple, you need to be prepared for some resistance. Unfortunately, some of this resistance might come from our friends or close family members.

As a couple planning a wedding, if you have reached the nuptials bit, chances are you have chosen to ignore the opinions of this disapproving family member. So even if they were against your relationship, as a couple you have chosen love over family relationships.

Now if you have made such a decision, then definitely there is probably bad blood between you and this person. So as a couple planning their interracial wedding, it would be wise not to have this person in your black and white wedding party.

The thing is: a wedding day should be something special for a couple. It needs to go on without any hitches. So if there are some family members who are against your union, make the wedding a card-only affair. Your wedding should be a day for people who are supportive of your relationship to come and share it with you.

Someone who isn’t supportive will definitely come and make a scene at your wedding. Usually, they start with the drinking uncontrollably and then there they go fighting to make a speech. And if you let them, it won’t go well.

Weddings are memorable occasions. It is a celebration of love. So do you want the memories of that special day to be one that leaves your newly wedded spouse in tears… hurtful tears? Definitely not!

If someone isn’t supportive of your relationship in this age and era, then DON’T include them in your interracial wedding. Don’t even ask for their opinion when planning it. Just tell them gently in advance that if they have chosen not to respect your choice of spouse, then they are not welcome anywhere near them.

As a couple in an interracial marriage, you need to stand together. And one way to make it work is to protect one another against anyone who comes against you.


Why it is necessary to cut ties with your friend the moment they illustrate a racist attitude

Do you have to maintain your racist friend just because they were your friends before you met your interracial partner?

Tricky huh! Kinda like having to condone your racist family. Well, this is a black and white situation.

Imagine introducing the love of your life or telling a friend about him or her only for them to exclaim: “He is white!” or ‘She is Asian!”. And this is not in a good way. They have disgust on their faces.

This is just an introduction. What will come next? What problems is this person going to cause for your relationship down the road? You need to ask yourself that.

Why you need to cut ties with your racist friend.

man walking way

One thing I tell people is: If someone is your friend, they need to accept you as you are. We are different people with different preferences. Would a friend reprimand you for dating a skinny dude of your own race? I don’t think so. So why should it matter that you are dating interracially?

Friends need to be people who are there for you no matter what. They need to support even the most stupid decisions you make, as long as you believe in what you are doing.

Now, if you have told your friend how much you are into this person who is of a different race, then they need to respect that. If they are racist, then they will go to whatever length to screw up your relationship. My advice: CUT TIES with them.

A friend will always want the best for you. They will support your romantic relationships no matter how screwed up they seem. And they will be there to pick up the pieces if things fall apart.

You don’t want your racist friend in your life that’s for sure. He or she will embarrass your new love in front of masses. My advice, tell them off and let them realize how much you are invested in the relationship. If they can’t get that and they still continue with the racist attitude, it’s about time to cut that cord.

It doesn’t matter how long you have known them. Racism is an unacceptable behavior. This is someone you cannot have involved in your life, especially your interracial love life. PERIOD!

Overcoming the lack of physical contact in an online relationship

With the advent of the advancement in internet technology, online relationships become popular and common. Online dating sites proliferate and have evolved into different niches like Interracial Dating sites to address specific needs of dates.

Before with the long – distance relationship, you can just hear the voice or read the letters of your loved ones. With the internet, there are other dimensions in the communication, yet the issue of the lack of physical contact is still very real and pressing.

Romantic relationships fulfill our needs as individuals. We need someone to fill our emotional, mental and of course, our physical needs. Touching, hugging and feeling another human being is necessary for validating our humanness. But what happens when there is a lack of physical contact. Can the relationship survive in this condition?

Many people frown upon a long distance online relationship. They say that the distance and not being able to see each other face to face will always put a dent in a relationship. Most opinions rest on the situations that not being able to see each other as soon as you can or as much as you can will the cause of the demise of the online relationship.  Thus, most recommend that those who meet up online should meet up immediately as a mere online relationship is not a “real” relationship.

Those with online relationships tend to disagree with these opinions. The long-distance relationship causes you to idealize your partner making the relationship more intimate. When you are apart from your partner the tendency for you is to build a strong relationship as you are up against many disadvantages.

Be honest with each other

Not seeing that person face to face does not mean that you can just say what you want or do what you want. You should be honest with your partner, similar to when you are physically together. This is a good base for which your relationship should rest on. Talk about how each other feels about the lack of physical contact. Express what you can handle and ask your partner also. If you or your partner is somewhat very affectionate, work out ways on how you can make the relationship grow. YOU can devise plans for a meet – up or other activities online.

Schedule periods when to best communicate

Being apart does not mean that you will be online and be with your partner throughout the day. Identify time schedule when to best talk to each other to maximize your communication at the same time do things that you have to do offline. Communication is very important for an online relationship so it should be given full attention and  full affection to make it work

Take time to do things together

You can involve your partner as much as you can in things that you love to do like watching a movie online together. You can do a video call and invite your partner to appreciate your favorite hangout places like restaurants or coffee shops. It doesn’t have a grand gesture which you need to plan and spend so much. Watching the sunset together through a video call is very romantic and your partner will surely appreciate it.

Leave your partner a memento

Give a small material gift to your partner that she or he can hold on to. Could be a stuffed  toy, a bracelet, a ring or a perfume. It is something that your partner can touch as a reminder of the feelings that you have.  These tangible objects can become powerful symbols of love and affection, especially when you are not online and you feel a longing for the presence of your partner

Give a focus to the emotions

Rather than focus on the physical aspect, both of you should turn to building your emotional and mental connections. This involves strengthening your attachment, closeness and your commitment to each other. Sharing your dreams, hopes, thoughts, and emotions can boost your emotional connection.

Attend to each other’s’ needs

For a couple, sexual tension comes naturally as sex is a basic biological and physiological need.  The desire to hold someone physically is always present. Our relationship should fulfill not only our emotional needs but our physical needs. For some , teasing and being sexually provocative online is sufficient. But for some, they release the sexual tensions through cybersex and phone sex. It really depends on the level of the maturity of the relationship. Both of you will have to determine which mode satisfies the need for the other.




How to successfully introduce your partner in an interracial relationship?

black man white womanThere have been many achievements in the race relations in the U. S. in the past years. In fact, National Geographic mentioned that we have already become a country where there is no black or white. Yet, many parents are still traditional and may frown on black and white dating.  Our mothers and father usually belong to a different generation and we do not know what discriminative attitudes they picked up along the way. They might even cling to it till the end. Even in this present society where acceptance is seemingly prevailing, we cannot really control the notions and reactions of our parents.

Introducing your significant other/partner to your parents for the first can be intimidating and sometimes downright scary. It is more difficult when we are introducing a partner of a different race. However, we can learn from these tips when introducing our significant other to our parents.

Prepare your parents and your partner

It is good if you initially discuss to your parents that your partner is of a different race before the first meet –up.   Highlight the positive attributes of your partner. Every parent wants the best for their children. This expectation extends to your life partner. By discussing beforehand that you are in an interracial relationship, you can already gauge the extent of the reaction you will have on the actual meet – up.

Talk to you partner also

Prior to the big meeting, talk to your partner. Discuss the attitudes and biases that your parents have, especially related to your relationship. It is of a big help if you can shed light on the background and experiences of your parents and the family. This will provide a context in understanding their reaction to your partner and the relationship. This is a helpful information to your partner so he/she can prepare.

Anticipate issues

For some interracial couples, the problem with getting to be familiar with the other members of the family is communication. Differences in the language used is a big factor for most couples. If you have this issue, expect this type of difficulty during a meet-up and be prepared to address such. You can translate or expound on the words spoken by the members of your family.

Aim high but don’t expect too much

During the meeting, be observant of the reactions of your parents and your partner. It might be that they will not immediately warm up to each other. Expect a bit of animosity between the parties but that’s part of the knowing each other process. You may expect some whispered negativity but take things in a stride as you can address them easily.

Talk to your partner beforehand that your expectations should not be that high as not be frustrated. You should expect the best but allow deviations from your goal.

Show genuine regard for your partner. Your parents can tell if what you have for each other is real. This will probably sway their notion based on what they see as going on between the two of you.

Determine what is real and go for it

If all else will fail, especially if there is an open conflict that happens between you and your parents, maybe they cannot accept the idea of black and white dating.  Then, you might as well dig into the depths of your heart. You need to decide if it is fine to have disagreements with your parents with your choice. You have to make sure that you are fine with the reactions that you might be getting later on with regards to your relationship.  Anyway, a good love is worth fight for.