Black White Dating

How to successfully introduce your partner in an interracial relationship?

black man white womanThere have been many achievements in the race relations in the U. S. in the past years. In fact, National Geographic mentioned that we have already become a country where there is no black or white. Yet, many parents are still traditional and may frown on black and white dating.  Our mothers and father usually belong to a different generation and we do not know what discriminative attitudes they picked up along the way. They might even cling to it till the end. Even in this present society where acceptance is seemingly prevailing, we cannot really control the notions and reactions of our parents.

Introducing your significant other/partner to your parents for the first can be intimidating and sometimes downright scary. It is more difficult when we are introducing a partner of a different race. However, we can learn from these tips when introducing our significant other to our parents.

Prepare your parents and your partner

It is good if you initially discuss to your parents that your partner is of a different race before the first meet –up.   Highlight the positive attributes of your partner. Every parent wants the best for their children. This expectation extends to your life partner. By discussing beforehand that you are in an interracial relationship, you can already gauge the extent of the reaction you will have on the actual meet – up.

Talk to you partner also

Prior to the big meeting, talk to your partner. Discuss the attitudes and biases that your parents have, especially related to your relationship. It is of a big help if you can shed light on the background and experiences of your parents and the family. This will provide a context in understanding their reaction to your partner and the relationship. This is a helpful information to your partner so he/she can prepare.

Anticipate issues

For some interracial couples, the problem with getting to be familiar with the other members of the family is communication. Differences in the language used is a big factor for most couples. If you have this issue, expect this type of difficulty during a meet-up and be prepared to address such. You can translate or expound on the words spoken by the members of your family.

Aim high but don’t expect too much

During the meeting, be observant of the reactions of your parents and your partner. It might be that they will not immediately warm up to each other. Expect a bit of animosity between the parties but that’s part of the knowing each other process. You may expect some whispered negativity but take things in a stride as you can address them easily.

Talk to your partner beforehand that your expectations should not be that high as not be frustrated. You should expect the best but allow deviations from your goal.

Show genuine regard for your partner. Your parents can tell if what you have for each other is real. This will probably sway their notion based on what they see as going on between the two of you.

Determine what is real and go for it

If all else will fail, especially if there is an open conflict that happens between you and your parents, maybe they cannot accept the idea of black and white dating.  Then, you might as well dig into the depths of your heart. You need to decide if it is fine to have disagreements with your parents with your choice. You have to make sure that you are fine with the reactions that you might be getting later on with regards to your relationship.  Anyway, a good love is worth fight for.

Interracial couples shouldn’t be unusual anymore

How long has it been again since the Supreme Court ruling that allows for interracial couples to freely marry? 50 years!!! We are seeing more and more interracial couples. It should no longer be an unusual scene, right?

There are quite a number of senior interracial couples who got married in the 1960s. And their accounts of how things were those days are quite shocking. Some say they even had to enter separately when they went on dates at the movie theatres.

There are unique mixes of interracial couples:

A lot has changed since. And if we look at how interracial couples had to carry themselves out then and today, lives for mixed-race couples have greatly changed positively. And today, it’s not about seeing just Black and White couples. Some of these couples are uniquely mixed. For instance, Vietnamese-Japanese, Latino-Filipino… I could go on and on…

Looking back, I am sure most senior couples who married then, are grateful for this change. They no longer feel unusual coz today, it’s quite normal to bump into interracial couples. People are freer and more open and they have embraced mixed dating as part of the American dating culture.

Those days, interracial couples would be forced to move out of their homes. If you lived in a white neighborhood and you are a black and white couple, some of the white neighbors would move out. This is mainly because interracial couples were very unusual then.

There might be a few people who are still in denial about the existence of mixed couples. Is it ignorance or just being hard-headed about it? Well, that answer is for the few to answer.

As for the rest of the progressive Americans, let’s embrace this wonderful melting pot. The thing is, even those we consider as minorities are American citizens too. So why find them different when we basically share one culture; the American culture?

Most Americans today are mixed race. And the ones who claim to be of a certain race usually come to realize later that they once had a great-grandparent from a different race.

So about time that some people stopped making interracial couples feel unusual.

 

Problems that could potentially break up interracial couples

One in six newlyweds is married to someone of a different race or ethnicity, according to a recent Pew Research Center report. Perceptions about intermarriage are also changing. However, the rising number of newly married interracial couples does not always translate to happily ever after as often. Couples from different backgrounds could grow apart simply due to failure to handle differences, talk about challenges and stress they create, and external societal judgment and prejudice. The only way for any chance of success is to know what you’re up against.

Here are a few challenges interracial couples may face at some point or another.

Disapproval from family

The person you are dating may worry about the repercussions his family would feel back if word got out that they were romantically involved with someone of a different race. Furthermore, some family members could give one or both members of an interracial couple a hard time.

Judgment from the society at large

Most people in interracial relationships will experience some stereotyping and hurtful assumptions. The lingering stares, uncomfortable questions, and crude remarks are just some of the damaging racial microaggressions that interracial couples endure.

Differences in a couple’s expectations

We are shaped by our culture. As we grow up, we imprint certain belief systems. When couples fall in love, most of them assume they share similar goals for the future. As the relationship matures you will realize that you view things differently. That’s why it’s important to share your beliefs, histories, and dreams early. It’s vital that interracial couples decide on boundaries, guidelines, and plans for example what holidays you will celebrate, will you have children, what faith will your children be raised in etc.

Lack of compromise.

Lack of compromise can ruin any relationship. If a couple can’t find a way to agree on simple things the relationship will not stand the test of time. Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes whenever you can. Generosity, kindness and compassion can go a long way. The key is to give your partner a listening ear. Give them the benefit of doubt before jumping into any rush decisions.

 

 

 

What men look for in women on the first interracial date

Women gearing for their first interracial date might be skeptic if the guy they are going out will like them or not. A relationship between two people is heavily dependent on the success and impression that they have been able to crate on the first date on each other. The first interracial date is the stepping stone for a couple to take the relationship any further or leave it as a short term fling. Every human being is unique still there are a few basic requirements of men when it comes to building and developing a relationship with women.

interracial couple on first date

On the first interracial date your kindness and thoughtfulness will go a long way

Men look for a partner who can support and take care of them in their bad times. A woman with a kind a heart and a thoughtful personality will be an instant hit with all kinds and ages of men. Men tend to plan for the long term and will look for a compassionate woman who can take care of them at a later stage also. Men tend to look for emotional support and this support comes best from women who have a kind heart and a thoughtful nature. Thus kindness and thoughtfulness are two qualities that may override physical features for men looking for an interracial date.

Can she make her man laugh

If a woman is able to make a man laugh on her first interracial date there are 80% chances that the man will go in for a second date with that woman. Men love a sense of humor in women and are more comfortable with women who can make them laugh and laugh with them. Men are fun loving and try to be with someone who can make them smile, and fill the relationship with smiles laughs and silliness.

A confident woman on her first interracial date has a long way to go

Earlier women used to be thought to be as the lesser individuals and a shy submissive woman was what every man used to look for. However gone are those days and today mane like to date women who are confident of themselves and can matching the strides of men. No man would like to be sitting in front of a submissive, shy and quiet woman on his first interracial date. A woman who likes to go out and accept the challenges of the society is an instant hit with the most genuine men since they believe in equality of genders and roles in a relationship.

Spicing up your interracial relationship

Keeping the excitement alive in an interracial relationship is not really tough. You just need to make sure that you keep reinventing your relationship and techniques every time you are with your interracial partner. Keep your interracial partner guessing about your next move or the next element of surprise you are going to get into the relationship. You don’t have to go an extra way to do it. A small amount of effort on your part is going to do the trick and help you and your interracial relationship go places in the times to come.

how to spicy up your dating life

Continuous flirting in the interracial relationship is going to add to the spice

We stop flirting with our interracial dating partner as soon as the relationship is official. This is the start of a slow death of the excitement and charisma of the relationship. Keep flirting with your interracial dating partner whenever you get a chance. Do it on the phone, in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the car, literally everywhere where you get a chance. Keep your flirtatious attitude alive with your interracial date. This is surely going to add spice and keep the relationship interesting for a long time.

Teasing each other makes spark fly

Teasing to a limit is harmless and builds the excitement. Constant teasing in an interracial relationship is helpful in keeping the excitement and exhilaration alive. Every time you tease you partner you are coming closer to each other and making him or her desperate for more from you. However be a bit cautious while teasing. Anything that is overboard will kill the relationship.

Look for opportunities to spend time together

Apart from the me time that you have kept aside for yourself, try and be with your interracial dating partner. Plan out weekend’s together, shopping sprees can be planned together and of course having a few intimate moments while you are together is really important for the relationship. If you are comfortable and like the company of each other and keep longing for more time together your relationship is going to go a long way.

Be adventurous inside and outside the bedroom

The adrenaline rush in both of you is going to keep the relationship young and spicy. Do things that you may think are crazy. Try things in the bedroom you have just heard of however before that make your partner comfortable and make the atmosphere conducive for whatever you are planning to do. Experimenting with one another with new, exciting and adventurous activities is surely going to take the relationship a long way.

Being touchy and feely all through the relationship is going to help

Touching your interracial relationship partner is going to ensure that your bonding and contact elevates with time. Generally couples are quite touchy and feely initially however with time they tend to keep their hands to themselves. Don’t rest while you are around. A loving or sensual touch will elevate the mood of your interracial dating partner and you are going to love the time you are together. Keeping the spice alive in an interracial relationship is not that tough. Small gestures and actions can help you elevate the experience you are going to have in that relationship.

 

Exploring the Possibilities of Online Interracial Dating

Interracial dating is much more common today than ever before with 15% of all new marriages in the U.S. involving people with multicultural backgrounds. In addition, online dating continues to grow every year with no sign of slowing given the fast-paced society we live in. The nexus between these two trends can be very exciting for the interracial dating community. However, people do need to take a few things into consideration in order to find success.

 

interracial dating benefitsFirst, those who are thinking about dating outside of their own race for the first time need to ensure that they’re considering it for the right reasons. Attempting to make a rebellious statement by dating inter-racially does not lead to a sustainable relationship. Love can’t really be cultivated based on a cause or an agenda. Focusing on your partner’s views and their outlook instead of concentrating on what the world thinks about your relationship is what matters the most. True attraction that goes beneath the surface, a genuine interest in exploring someone else’s culture and a willingness to embrace their differences are the cornerstones of successful interracial dating.

Once someone has determined that interracial dating is right for them they may be likely to seek the internet as a viable way of meeting new people. When it comes to interracial dating, the online dating scene can actually be a godsend. People sign up for interracial dating sites because they know that the other members are like-minded when it comes to race. Getting over that first hurdle is crucial.

Many find it challenging to approach someone of a different race or ethnicity because there is obviously uncertainty about how their advance will be received. This is true in general about dating, but the concern tends to be magnified when it comes to the proverbial color barrier. Some feel that approaching a person of the same race is simply “safer” and that there will be a lesser likelihood of getting rejected from the outset. Interracial daters are often unsure about whether race will be a factor for another person so they may not make an advance at all – sometimes losing out on the possibility of a potential relationship. Online dating gives interracial daters an easier way to inquire about how open-minded a potential mate is and sites that cater to the interracial dating market provide an even greater assurance that a person of interest will not reject an advance based on race alone.

Another benefit of dating online is that there tends to be a community atmosphere where people can trade stories with each other. This is important to interracial daters because they typically have more challenges than their other single counterparts. When you’ve been stared at in public or people have made remarks about your pairing, it helps to be able to vent about it. The ability to talk about these experiences and get advice from people who are more likely to understand is definitely appealing and interracial dating sites offer that type of forum.

Overall, online dating can be a rewarding experience for interracial daters. The computer can serve as a filter, taking the guesswork out of whether to approach someone of a different race. And, of course, online dating lets a person get to know another before deciding whether to invest significant time into cultivating a romance. Interracial dating online simply offers more possibilities than hoping to bump into an open-minded person at the coffee shop or grocery store. Give it a try!

The role of kissing in an interracial relationship

Once you are into an interracial relationship via an online interracial dating website you are going to look forward to the first physical date or meeting in the real world. Expectations, excitement and the urge to meet someone you have just interacted via the internet seen pictures on your computer or smart phone is really overwhelming. The first date serves as a precursor for the relationship to flourish a lifetime. There is another factor that contributes a lot to an interracial relationship. Kissing your date forms an essential part of the relationship and goes a long way in contributing to the strength and well being of the relationship. Although you might not be able to kiss on the first date because of the comfort level that has not been developed amply or the place you have decided to meet. Kissing and dating are inseparable. Kissing on the first date is good sign provided both the partners are comfortable and the ambience to carry out the deed is perfect.

mixed couple kissing

Kissing is a stress buster in interracial relationships

Kissing your date releases the happy hormone inside your brain, your body relaxes and you are able to forget all your worries. Kissing is kind of a stress buster for both the partners. In an interracial relationship kissing also signals the acceptance of the partners. Interracial relationships sometimes are marred due to resistance from society, prying eyes of the people around you, all these factors take a back seat and you are more than happy with your relationship once your kissing sessions start.

Kissing is the bridge for bonding in an interracial relationship

Kissing is one activity that boosts the bonding and helps it make strong in an interracial relationship. Keeping your partner interested in you and having a contact that makes the sparks fly is must to take your relationship for a long run. Kissing in turn helps release the happy hormones from the body which makes the interracial couple attach more and more to one another. This is one activity that will surely help one to add cement to the already developing relationship.

Kissing builds emotional attachment in an interracial relationship

Kissing in an interracial relationship makes sure that you are attached to each other emotionally and have feelings for one another. Kissing is not merely a physical activity, it helps the interracial couple to develop emotional attachment and make sure they stay connected to each other via charged up emotions. Kissing makes sure that you have an understanding of the emotional and physical needs of your interracial partner.

Kissing adds to the romance in an interracial relationship

Romance is something that may fade with time if activities like touching and kissing are avoided for a long time. A kiss at the very start of the relationship will ensure that the interracial couple wants to continue with the relationship. Keeping the romance alive all through the relationship will ensure that you have a long term relationship with your interracial partner. Keep your relationship happening with a harmless peck on the cheek or a passionate smooch.

Dating a Black woman – A few pointers to go along

Dating a black woman is a dream come true for many people who take their dating as serious business. Getting to see a black woman is in itself a big achievement for anyone since black women are hard to find and even harder is the attempt to get them to date you. Black women are strong enough emotionally and mentally and will see through your intentions and mind. Dating a black woman is surely a great feeling however you need to go with an open mind while dating a black woman to foster the relationship into a long term relationship.

Do not try to pretend black while dating a black woman

black woman portraitWhile dating a black woman if you are from another race you don’t have to pretend that you are black. Be yourself. You don’t have to take up an accent that is typical of a black man. Do not make remarks that make her feel as if she is being objectified. Treat her like any other normal woman and behave the way you would have behaved with a woman of your race. While driving her play music that is trendy or something that you love not something that you think would be apt having a black woman with you at that time. While ordering for something to eat allow her to order on her own and do not try to give suggestions on the basis of information you have of what black women like to eat.

Do not assume anything while dating a black woman

Assumptions in relationships are deal breakers. You assume something about your dating partner and the relationship goes for a toss. Having a broken relationship in the past or a bad past in terms of dating and relationships should not hinder you to assume that your experience while dating a black woman is going to be same. Forget or at least put your past behind when going out on a date with a black woman. She may also have the same experiences about the past so it is better to talk and not assume things that may be going on in your head. Having an ability to communicate and resolve any issues or complications will surely take you a long way in terms of your relationship with a black woman.

Do not show off while dating a black woman

Getting to date a black woman is not that hard with so many interracial dating websites on the web. However earning the respect of your black date is the real man’s objective especially on the first date. Earning respect via showing off your money, branded clothes, expensive accessories or your large SUV is not possible. You will only be attracting gold diggers instead of genuine black women while showing off. Wear your style in form of your attitude, dress and manners. Instead of talking about money and your business it would be great if you can talk about childhood, work, the places you have stayed and hobbies you enjoy in your spare time.

Your open minded attitude will help you

While dating a black woman do not go with any pre conceived notions. Go with an open mind and let things unfold by themselves. Flow with the conversations and time. Be ready to bust a few myths you might be having in your mind about her race. Be ready to hear something that your don’t really approve of. Be ready to hear the other side of the story and expose yourself to an entirely different style of living customs and ideas she may bring to the table.

 

Online Dating Etiquette

looking for dates onlineHow many of us have been reduced to meeting available singles online? Unfortunately, this describes a lot of us lately especially due to our busy lifestyles. There are so many different online services, where you fill out basic information about yourself and what you are looking for in a potential mate. You anxiously await a response to your “ad” and bingo, one finally arrives! You are excited to read it and quickly reply to the email and ask many questions of your potential mate.
The email that you get in return is one big disappointment. It amazes me that so many people exhibit such bad manners in their emails! Are you guilty of this? I bet that you are and might not even be aware of it! There is nothing worse than droning on in an entire email about yourself and asking no questions of the person that you are hoping to get to know better. How do you expect the receiver to respond to this type of email? They may be polite enough to try again and worse, you respond again by just answering their questions while asking none of your own! This behaviour will surely result in you spending many a Friday night alone!

If you are serious about getting to know each other, ask questions, be funny in your emails and remember to take an interest in the other person! Remember, it’s not all about you, your Aunt Edna or your pet monkey!

Here is a Top 10 list of things to do and not do when trying to get to know someone via email:
1. Ask questions about the person, their family, likes, dislikes and encourage a conversation

2.Do a spell check before sending the email!

3. Show humour throughout the entire email; they will be more likely to respond!

4.Give some thought to your email and the message you wish to convey

5. Don’t use a lot of online lingoes (LOL, etc). You don’t want to give the reader the impression that you are more comfortable talking on email than actually meeting!

6. Be completely honest. After all, you are hoping to actually meet this person, aren’t you?
7.Respond to an email within a couple of days. It shows that you are interested and considerate.

8.Don’t suggest meeting in the first email. It may take her some time to warm to the idea!

9. Be polite

10. Have fun, this might be your soul mate!

Enjoy the process of getting to know people as you might make a wonderful friend or two!